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Marketing Managers Toolkit: Tool#37

We know certain situations call for the standard Eikenberry handshake, but when it’s time to celebrate – like, say, a 98% response rate on your last direct mail campaign – it’s time to take the medieval high-five to the next level. Remember, when you’re initiating mad phalanges rhymes, it’s important to lead with authority and care. Ready? Let's do this thing.

Figure A

 Fig. A “The Opener”
Start with the standard Eikenberry, as not to alarm your partner.
  Figure B

   Fig. B “The Goalpost”
Release your grip ever so slightly and slide your palms away from each other
until your curled fingers catch, ensuring your thumbs are extended to form a goalpost. Remember you’re putting the exclamation point on something pretty kick-butt,
act like it and get those thumbs up.
  Figure C

   Fig. C “The Elle Beau”
Let go of your partner’s hand (you’re not getting married) and bring your
elbows together with a bone-crushing thud. We didn’t say forearms,
that’s for wannabes. Elbows.
  Figure D

   Fig. D “The Polar Opposite”
With your elbows locked in the funky chicken position, swing your hand up 90º
on the axis of your elbow until the backs of your hands come together in backwards
high-five. When done properly, there should be a slight slap, not a thud.
  Figure E

   Fig. E “The Old Sk(ch)ool”
After the slight slap of “The Polar Opposite,” continue rotating your hand
another 45º on the axis of your elbow (don’t go past that or you may incur injury)
and bring the palms of your hands together with a traditional high-five pop.
Gotta pay respect to the classics.
  Figure F

   Fig. F “The Estrada”
There’s an exclamation point, then there are triple exclamation points.
“The Estrada” is the triple exclamation point at the end of a jive handshake
sentence. After the classic pop, bring your arms down and draw your hand pistols
— extend pointer finger with thumbs up. TIMING HERE IS IMPERATIVE,
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION: Simultaneously pump your hands, throw the hammer
on your thumb guns, give a sly wink and make that chkk-chkk noise with your mouth.

That’s how you shake hands.